Myopia. Mine

In Norwegian they talk about 'Lengsel'. In German about 'Sehnsucht'. In Portuguese about 'Saudade'. 

And in Dutch? In The Netherlands we don't have specific words for 

• longing for what is lost or disappeared behind the horizon: Saudade
• longing for moving to places (or knowledge) where you are not right now: Lengsel
• longing for an ideal world that surpasses everything that's unfinished or imperfect in one's life: Sehnsucht

In Dutch we stick to 'Bij de buren is het gras altijd groener'. Translated in English 'The grass in the neighbor's garden is always greener'. In a way "we" Dutch are more down to Earth. More sober. We can long for what we've lost, what we long for or what we dream of. At the same time realizing that it's never perfect. Even if it may seem so in the neighbor's garden but that is - just take a better look: near-sight (myopia). At the same time realizing that you have to stick with what you have right now.

Mark that 'the neighbor's garden' is a metaphor for 'everything in one's life'!

Do I have an answer to every question or problem? No, it's quite to opposite. All my answers are temporary. In a way a hypothesis. One cloud. One word. One song. One strange look. One touch. One kiss. One ... - it's always a pleasant  surprise - and suddenly I just don't know what to do or answer next. 

Clarice Lispector: "So long as I have questions to which there are no answers, I shall go on writing."

You. Myopia yes but so beautiful. Beautiful a la Saudade.

P.S. Some may say that the Dutch word 'weemoed' correlates to the different kind of longings mentioned above but that word is in my country non-existent. No longer in common use. It's archaic.

Recap

Why do I love Música Popular Brasileira #MPB? Why do I love Bruna, Ana Carolina, Ana Moura and many others?

Let me first say that MPB is for me a hat-rack. I like to listen to: #MPB #Fado and #BossaNova. These three music trends are in my mind, fused into "MPB". Regardless of whether this is justified by music theorists.

I love Bruna Caram's voice, smile, elegance and joy of living. She reminds me of you.

Ana Carolina's voice is sexy. Her lyrics are deep. She exudes sensuality. Nothing beats her song 'Confesso'. She reminds me of ...

I like Ana Moura best with her eyes closed. She is intense and pure. Shy. She reminds me ...

Marisa Monte's 'Bem Que Se Quis' is my favorite Friday afternoon song. She is sexy! Desire! She reminds ...

Andrea Martins is mysterious behind her black glasses. She ...

The singer that moves me most is Zélia Duncan. I never talk and think much about her. I don't want to. For me she is danger. Elegant. Deep. Sexo. Sober. Her songs are like poems. In a way I deny my attraction and longing for her. ...

Life is more

To be honest. I don't feel like blogging anymore. In a way I lost my appetite. The urgency is gone. Next to that nobody really seems to care. Nobody seems to wait for what I'll write next. Last few weeks I'm making up my mind about my wins. More and more the feeling grows in me to commit web suicide. Life is more than Twitter, BlipFM and Blogging. How strange to be back on Ana Carolina's song 'Mais que isso'. It's the image of my first 'Live Life!' blog.

Question: Is my concept of 'win win' wrong? What image fits better?

Wednesdayblog. My 'dutch top 2000' list versus my "real" list.

Since 10 years in The Netherlands there's a yearly top 2000. It started in 1999 as best of songlist for the turn of the year 2.000. It was such a big hit that it is repeated year after year. The complete 2007 list is on my MP3 player. To be honest I hardly ever listen to it because it's too much, too overwhelming.

This year I made for the first time my own list. Quick. Intuitive. Not thinking. Voting for the songs that came first into my mind. Above is my list compared to the "general"  list of year 2009. Observation. I prefer woman singing. 50% oldies and 50% more recent. My choises are not very popular.

Why am I sharing all this to you? The above list of me (JeanD99) is not representative for what I am listening to since I found BLIP-FM via Twitter. If I have to make my "real" list it would be this:

Observation. This list is much longer (22 compared to 6). Still mostly woman. Only song that appears on both lists: Beatles/ Something. Kate Bush with two different songs. Only 1 dutch song (Eva de Roovere). Mostly portugese/ brasilian music. My choises are not mainstream dutch.

Biggest difference for me between two lists is the fact that I choose "relevant" music for the dutch top 2000. Ana Carolina, Marisa Monte and other portugese/ brasilian music is non-existent for dutch ears. Never (really?) any song of any of them on the dutch radio. I could have voted for my real list but it would have been senseless.  E isso ai.

P.s. Search or scroll yourselves? Dutch top 2000 songs. Download list 10 years (1999-2009): artist, title and listposition. Format XLS http://bit.ly/6P7fr0

P.s.s. Listen to my favourites? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 , 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21 and 22.

Dance. Dance with you in this dance of loneliness

The music I listen to is filled with songs in which the singer shares his or her emotions of love. Listen to Ana Carolina 'Mais que isso', Luiza Possi 'Coração de papel', Chiara Civello 'Un passo dopo l'atro' or Maria Mena 'Just hold me'. 4 songs that touch my heart. Make me sentimental. Make me fragile. Thinking and dreaming of the ones that I once loved so deeply and the ones I love right now. Dreams of meu princesa distante. Everything passes. This includes falling in love with another human being. What is left if falling in love fades or faded away?

What I don't understand is how the singer feels if she sings for the 467th time 'Mais que isso'. Since 4 years I'm listening to the music of Ana Carolina. Listening and feeling the emotions of Ana Carolina. Wondering if the lover she talks about is still there? Was it a him or a her? Did they ever become a couple? Are they still a couple? Does Ana Carolina still dream of him/ her?

I'm wondering if the singer still thinks of the one she thought of when she originally wrote the song? Is it healing if you sing a song for the 467th time? Or just the opposite? My heart would break if I have to but how does a "professional" singer deal with that? Life is more than music on a CD or a song sang but what happens to Ana Carolina, Luiza, Chiara and Maria when those 2 worlds meet. Two worlds? When the "professional" singer sings on stage (world 1) her own most intimate song (world 2). First few times bit nervous I presume. What does she feel when it's the 467th time? What does she feel when the lover she sings about is passed long ago and replaced 5 times by another newer lover? What's my point?

Question: What does a professional singer feel singing a very private and intimate self written song of a love that passed - a song that's so successful and that has to be sang everytime on stage. Indifferent? Professional? Filled with gratitude? Embarrassed? Filled with love? A mixture? Or ...

Music "fan": Kate was my first

Well ... what to say? I love music. It makes me laugh, smile and gives me tears. Only sometimes. Most of the time it just blows away ... while living my life. I love lots of music. My first love in music was Kate Bush. How I loved her when I heard her first two elpees when I was 16 or 17. I can't remember which songs I liked best back then. Now I like 'Symphony in blue' and 'Feel it'  best.

I'm not a "fan"! I grew up together with her. I love(d) her voice. Some emotions and lines of her became mine too. Did I got them from her or did I find the emotions underneath it myself living my life? I can't tell anymore. Most important: does it really care? I love and loved her because what she gave. I'm very very gratefull. Music? Life is more than music on a CD - thanks to Ana Carolina.