Point Zero Frozen in Time

You don't like the sketch of Raef Payne's cottage redesigned? That's is OK ofcourse.

For me personally the taste and distaste (and everything in between) tells all about our romantic view or point zero of a place. The perfect picture. Frozen in time. Of what was back then and isn't anymore here and now.

For me personally point zero of Camusfearna is 1948. When the house was a second house (rented) for Gavin Maxwell. When Raef Payne's cottage didn't bear his name and when it wasn't his second house (rented). When there was no landrover track down the hill. When you had to walk the 3 miles up and down the hill. When there still was a lighthouse. When there was no telephone.

For me personally Camusfearna 1961 is a distaste. A paradise lost.

Never get angry about someone else his or her (dis)taste. It mostly tells more about our unconscious perfect picture, our point zero, our romantic view. Frozen in time. Never get fr...n - you know.

Fringe

This week I realized that the image that best describes my mindset and reading-habit is: rafelranden. It's an image in Dutch. In English translated best with 'fringe' or 'outskirts'.

My Fringe on people:

• Hermit and nerd Armand Schulthess (1901-1972) who created his 'Library of Knowledge' around him.
• Financially independent noble Cayetana Fitz-James Stuart, 18th Duchess of Alba (born 1926).
• South Sea trader and writer Robert Dean Frisbie (1896-1948).
• Voice in the wilderness Ton Lemaire (born 1941) who lives alone in France and who asserts that 'homo sapiens' is collectively trying to commit suicide on planet Earth and that we need a more spiritual orientation to our planet and universe.
• Writer Gavin Maxwell (1914-1969). More
• Father Ho Van Thank and son Ho Van Lang who hid themselves for 40 years in the forest.

My Fringe on history:

• Stone age in contrast to our mechanized world.
• Ancient Egypt in contrast to ancient Greece and Rome.
• Neoplatonism in contrast to mainstream Christianity.

What's my point? It gives my life color and light as I engage myself with people, periods, books and languages that are not mainstream in my country and society. Thereby I appreciate what I have. It makes me realize - time and again - that nothing is given and everything comes from somewhere and has its own, individual story. It makes a normal and mainstream life, my life, better intelligible.

Gavin Maxwell. My fascination

For 6 months I was a drafted peacekeeping soldier in the Sinai. Age 21. English speaking world. Alone. Without friends or family. Alone without someone who could hold my hand and tell me once in a while “you are OK and don’t worry”. Going to the Sinai was something I volunteered to. I wanted to test myself. I deliberately wanted to be alone in a world of strangers/ others and see, feel what it would do to me. It was a great time for me! I read a lot of books. I met a lot of interesting people. I saw a lot of Egypt and Israel. Above all I loved to be alone and to overcome my fear everytime I met others.

When my service as a drafted airforce soldier was over I went to the university. Somewhere in the first few months at the university I stifled against the writer Gavin Maxwell (1914-1969). He made me realize that in Europe there are still remote places where individual ’homo sapiens’ can be alone. That was a big surprise for me - I thought that they had gone  more than 500 years ago. I must have read his ‘Ring of bright water’ at least 15 times. How I love(d) his life alone with his otters on the remote spot ’Bay of Alder’ (in gaellic ‘Camusfearna’). On the map ‘Sandaig’ in Scotland. His modest house where he could write books, plan his travels and lick his new wounds was a #dream and #travel destination for me. It was something I wanted to have myself too one day.

“Wanted”? Yes! It’s not something I want for myself anymore. I’m perfectly happy with my wife, my four healthy kids, my books and the place where I live. I discovered – while living my life - that Camusfearna is not a physical place but a place that can be everywhere. I live in a quiet little village on the countryside in The Netherlands. Far away from the big city noise I can be alone. Read my books. Write a little. Walk alone for hours. My own big old house is my own “fortress from which to essay raid and foray, an embattled position behind whose walls one may retire to lick new wounds and plan fresh journeys to father horizons.”

For me personally ‘The House of Elrig’ is Gavin’s best book. It’s about his childhood and adolescense. It’s about the house of his parents where he grew up and longed for deeply while he was at school. Elrig was his kingdom when he was in exile far away. In a way Elrig and Camusfearna are two aspects of the same man: the longing for a fortress. Someone who never grew up and always stayed a kid, full of wonder and the need of exploring our surrounding world.

P.s. I wrote a guestblog at @kirsty_wilson's Travelplustips on Sandaig. You can read it here.