Always Seem to Be

On November 10th, 1944 Denise Menasce wrote, in Cairo, this love-letter to Paddy:

Transcription:

"Gloom, dep[r]ession, and still more gloom! Darling Paddy, / I always seem to be in a miserable mood when I write / to you. I am sorry, but somehow when I am gay and / full of joie de vivre, I don't feel like writing. It is / only when I am simply gorging in misery that I want to / pour it out of me. [D]o you mind frightfully if your little / imp is[n']t madly impish in her letters? I shall make a / bold attempt to be gay amusing, and if possible / alluring, so as to make you think of me - with, "un / tan[t] soit peu de regret." Darling, it is dreadful, but I / just realized, that I am writing just to write as I have / absolutely nothing worth while to write about."

Is this a law for some lovers? In real life full of questions, attention and abundance. Full of 'joie de vivre'. And in letters a lot of silence, frugal with attention and nurturing a relationship. Like a snail that has withdrawn into its house. 

From silence I can deduce everything: depth, mystery, pain, love, too much or too little interest or ... - and everything in between. But I don't want to guess. I just want an answer or explanation from you. And yours alone. And if not ... - you know.