Wednesday, October 28, 2009

For man only: womanlike questioning & manlike problemsolving

It took me (a male) a long time. One universe. One planet Earth. One god. One democracy. One life. One species 'homo sapiens'. It took me a long time realizing that man and woman talk differently. For a long time - in retrospect too long - my assumption was that man and woman communicate exactly alike. I learned it the hard way that we don't communicate alike.

Man listen in a conversation to identify "what is the problem?". Woman listen in a conversation to find out "what is the question?" Example: my wife comes home from her work to complain about her boss. When I "listen" to her from a male point of view I'll ask question after question to peel off what the "key problem" is & finally proudly presenting her how to solve the problem. After done so I'll find out to my greatest surprise that she is dissatisfied with our conversation because "I didn't listen to her". Leaving me behind in wonder and being frustrated "Why?".

How to solve this - this is indeed manlike problemsolving? Listen to her. Really listen to her. A woman doesn't want to have her problems solved. She is perfectly capable doing that herself! She wants to talk to a man as she talks to a woman-friend. Question after question. Sharing the same old stories you heard at least a thousand times.

For man only. A woman doesn't want to have her problems solved. A woman wants to blow of steam! Listen to her. Ask questions. Listen. Give only your solution to the problem if she begs you to tell her your point of view.

1 comment:

  1. Puede que no comparta del todo tu punto de vista, en lo personal, siempre digo: si vienes a buscar una resuesta y esperas escuchar la que quieres... estas en el lugar equibocado.
    Como mujer, trato de resolver sola mis cuestiones, aunque SI presto atencion a las opiniones de la gente que me interesa.
    Y no todos los hombres tienen la capacidad de resolver solos sus problemas.
    Somos distintos pero muy parecidos a la vez, todo es custion de complementos.
    Besos Ale