Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Ancient story. Do we always realize that we die twice?


It's an ancient story. It's a story we share with more than 9.000 generations of 'homo sapiens' who lived before us: being born, live and die. Some of us reproduce ourselves and start a new generation. If we don't our personal familyline will stop. I was lucky to have known 3 of my 4 grandparents and my great-grandfather of my fathers mum. My daddies dad died 15 years before I was born. In retrospect I've met my ancestors mostly on normal, nothing special occasions: birthdays and drinking coffee on Sunday. In a way we (better: I) only love, take care and are emotionally involved to people we "meet" in person. Family, friends, collegues and acquaintances. And the others? They are Others whose lives are irrelevant.

What's the ancient story? All of us are little branches on the big tree - it's an image - of species 'homo sapiens'. We all die. Some get reproduced.  After 3 generations all of us - with or without kids - become statistics to the generations who come after us. "Jean Doorn, born 19 of January 1970,  died on {date}. Father of 4 kids". All the love I toke. All the love I gave. All the stories I heard. All the stories I told.  All laughs, kisses, tears and fears. All the tweets I read. All the tweets I wrote. We die twice. First the physical us. After 3 generations the us in the minds who love and hate us 2.

What do you think? Will Internet change all this? Will the future 'IT' (footnote) be able to "meet" someone who died more than 3 generations ago?

Footnote. 'IT' is the big computer with a huge amount of data in the book 'Journey  into Space' written by Toby Litt.   

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Don Juan was a great seducer but a bad dad

Don Juan is a tragical figure. Better: I think that Don Juan is a tragical figure. Why? Not because he's able to seduce woman, a lot of woman. Not because I do not understand his drive, his longing, his kick, his long trail of seduced woman.

He is tragical because he entangles means and end. Seducing a woman - from a male point of view - is the means to the end 'get procreated'. It's just as simple as that. Getting procreated as species 'homo sapiens' is more than make love and make babies with the two of us. The kids also need their parents for love and all the other small, normal and ordinairy things we need for facing life. In other words: life is more than getting laid. The tragedy of Don Juan is that he doesn't act that way. In a way Don Juan is a spoiled kid: always getting what he wants. And in the real world? In the real world kids grow up and  learn that we can't always get what we want. In the real world we learn that we don't need to consume always what we can get. It seems to me that Don Juan never learned that. Don Juan' tragedy is that  he was a great seducer but he was a bad dad.

Is it really that hard not to take every step of 'Terentius' steps of Venus':  (1) see (2) talk (3) touch (4) kiss and (5) make love? Why can't you stop stepping?

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

On Bruna



What can I say? ... take 30 seconds - did your hear and read the sound of silence? Heard my heart, my wondering and puzzling mind?

Look at her and listen to her music: Essa Menina (This Girl), Palavras do Coração (Words of the Heart), Nascer de Novo (Born Again) and  Fim de Tarde (Evening).

What can I say? I guess I'm in love with Bruna Caram. Accompanied with all the dreams, longing and fantasies.

P.s. Don't worry I'm a married man who is content and happy with his love. Just sharing my inner thoughts and dreams with you :))

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Taste & smell favourites. A smell man's list

How long will it take before you can smell and taste this blog? 10 or 20 years from now? How long will it take before you can check out my list of favourites:
  • Smell of 'pouriture noble' (English 'noble rot') wine
  • Glass of Château d'Yquem
  • Pizza ala Siciliana: tomatos, cheese, anchovy and capers
  • Fresh hay
  • Smell of woodfire (my blog on this)
  • Decaying leaves in a ditch
  • Glass 'vieille réserve' cognac from Paul Giraud
  • ... - not telling you 
  • Pipe smoking Mac Baren 'mixture'
  • Smell of a boathouse

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Cloud Catching

 

Sometimes I like to catch clouds. Lazy lying in the grass. The smell of green and hay. The sun on my face. Hands under my head. Watching the big play up in the sky. Big clouds. Smaller clouds. The play of hide and seek of clouds, sun and blue sky.

Sometimes I try to keep up with only 1 cloud. What at first seemed one frozen tuft of wool  is, when I look in detail for some minutes, never really the same. The borders always seem to move more quickly. Correct me if I'm wrong but the clouds always seem - from my point of view - to move up. The wind that blows a cloud in different shapes.

Most of the time when I'm catching clouds I don't realize that a cloud is: a visible mass of little drops of water or frozen crystals in the atmosphere above the surface of planet Earth.

Sometimes the big play of clouds is for me the metaphor of meeting other human beings. They come. They go. They are hidden behind other clouds. Seemingly frozen but when I look in detail never the same.

Last year I was catching clouds in the pasture near the Externsteine in Germany. Looking at clouds. The big rocks (german 'Steine') on the background. The play of hide and seek of clouds, sun and blue sky. All of a sudden one glider making his thermals just in front of me under the clouds. I was so happy. For just a short brief of time everything seemed in balance, peaceful and just the way it has to be. It was just PERFECT.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Tyranny of positive thinking. Why deny our SOUR parts in life?


What's my point? There is too much positive thinking these days with the wrong motivation. We are trapped in it and are hardly able to see anymore that we deny reality, submit cheerfully to misfortune and blame only ourselves for our fate. We deny our sour parts.

From my point of view 'homo sapiens' life consists (non-limited list): tears, fears, love, jealousy, anger, aggression, hunger for power, horror, happiness, satisfaction, peace, outrage and bad luck. Our life is sweet AND sour. These days it seems we don't want to see our sour emotions anymore. We deny them.

Strategies to overcome our sour parts:
  • Grow up! It seems we are kids when we have sour emotions.
  • Change point of view. It's not sour it's sweet too. "When life hands out lemons, squeeze out a smile."
  • Use another metaphor. Smile! You've got cancer. Cancer is not a problem or an illness. It's a gift.
  • Transition. You will become a better, bigger and real being out of it. It's a makeover opportunity.
  • Think positively. See the glass half full even when it lies shattered on the floor.

Intermezzo. Today no historical flashback from me. If you want to puzzle yourselves: the influence of manichaeism in  Christianity (look at the images) and reason as primary source since Age of Enlightenment.

What's next? I'm pleading for being a real human being, with his good and bad days, with his happy and unhappy days, with his fortune and misfortune. I'm pleading for the right to be unhappy. Huxley in his 'Brave New World': "But I don't want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness. I want sin."

Embrace the sweet AND sour parts in life. Don't deny! If you need an image or metaphor. Handle your emotions like 'After rain there will be sunshine AND after sunshine there will be rain'. Don't deny the rain!

Does this ring any bell for you? Or do you think I need a therapist or that I'm the next fool on the hill?

P.S. Ehrenreich tells in 'Smile or Die: How Positive Thinking Fooled America And The World' (2010) that there is no scientific proof for healing from cancer by positive thinking.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Terentius 5 steps. Online we are offline concerning to 3 of his steps.

Ever heard of  Terentius (190-159 BC)? Ever heard of his 5 steps of Venus? It's the steps we take one after another "meeting" a new lover: (1) see (2) talk (3) touch (4) kiss and (5) make love. When I apply this to our online world I discover - planet Earth year 2010 - that we only are able to take the first 2 steps. Online we will never be able to touch, kiss and make love to a potential new lover. (Or do you take cybersex  for real?) In this respect 'being online' is a strange image because we're offline towards 3 steps. In this respect I do not really understand why so many of us think that the online world is more real, more fantastic, more living, more cool, and more connected to the world. Or am I biased because I like smelling, touching and tasting so much?

Any idea how influential images are?


Details. I'm a man of details. I pick the images or metaphors I use in my communication  - in case you missed it - with great care. I do not only pick them with great care I also 'play' with them. Surprised? Any idea how influential images are? Did you know that every language has it's own historical biased set of metaphors? Did you know that in Dutch there are a lot of images who can be traced back to the Dutch 'Golden Age' of the 17th century? Did you know that the explorations of the 15th and 16th century have left their traces in  Portuguese and Spanish?

Let me use an example, we all are very familiar are with, to explain what I am pointing at. Images of 'love':
  • river: floating and never the same
  • game: win or lose
  • prison: feel locked up and always longing for being somewhere else
  • alpha and omega of life: begin and end
  • unit of raising kids: bond between man and wife to reproduce species 'homo sapiens'
  • other half of me: your 1/2 and my 1/2 = 1
  • hunting: hunter and prey
What's my point? If we look at love from an 'Other half of me' point of view we live our lives expecting to find her one day. Who? The one who will make my 1/2 soul 1. If I can't find her I'll be disappointed and frustrated. If my present love will have it's downs (ups are never the contraint) I'll conclude that she in retrospect was not the '1' I was looking and longing for. The relation will not last.

If we look at love from the 'Unit of raising kids' image of Desmond Morris we will learn that  man and wife join together to get procreated. Morris also tells that a good relation evolves from pair forming sex  (high intensity) to pair binding sex (less intense). If you expect to always have pair forming kind of sex any relation will be a disappointment.  

What has all this to do with you? I try to make you sensitive for the fact that we sometimes are trapped in the image we use for something. The image we use is like a prison - this is a metaphor too. It  tell us what we see and don't see. It predicts what makes us happy and sad. It even defines our definition on happiness.

The bible, Matthew 7:24-29 says: "built your house on rock and not on sand". At first sight we'd better not built our house on sand because it's not rock. But! If we look at sand like a 'sea of sand' a window of opportunities is opened. A houseboat is perfectly capable to navigate on any dessert. 

Tell me. When was the last time that you realised that you could escape from a "trap" by using another metaphor?

    Thursday, March 25, 2010

    Stones 99 names of. Stones boring? 99 + 1 ways of looking at them

    A couple of months ago I worked on an archeological exhibition. I loved to work on it. To feel, touch and smell all those old artifacts. A lot of them were made out of stone. At the same time I sensed that for a lot of people all those stones were boring, stupid and meaningless. All this puzzled me and made me wonder. The result? My list of 99 + 1 ways of looking at stones.
    Wordle: JeanD99
    1. Ammunition. Stones for slinges and catapults.
    2. Arch. An arch is a structure that spans a space while supporting weight.
    3. Arguing. “When arguing with a stone an egg is always wrong” (African proverb).
    4. Being out of fashion. People who still live in the Stone-age are considered to be old fashioned.
    5. Being successful. Woman are decorated with diamonds to effuse being successful.
    6. Books. There are more books written on stones than one of us can read during his/ her life time.
    7. Bridging level. Stepping stones.
    8. Cannon ball. First cannon balls were made out of stone.
    9. Catcher of nightmares. My eldest daughter has a few stones that protect her against nightmares. Not every stone works every night  ;) 
    10. Cave. A cave(rn) is a big rock with a hole in it.
    11. Chinese wall. The only human made structure on Earth we can see from out of space.
    12. Clean feet. Garden path of stones.
    13. Construction element. With stones and wood we can built houses.
    14. Cooking stones. Before 'homo sapiens sapiens' had cooking pans our ancestors threw hot stones in a leather bag with liquid for cooking.
    15. Corner- or foundingstone. First stone set in the construction of a masonry foundation, important since all other stones will be set in reference to this stone, thus determining the position of the entire structure.
    16. Covey' big rock. Metaphor for most important priority that has to be done. First plan and work on the big rocks. Second the pebbles.
    17. Decipher. With the Rosetta stone we were able to decipher a language that was lost for more than 2.000 years.
    18. Decreting. On the Rosetta stone the ancient egyptians made a decree "forever" in 3 languages.
    19. Details. Rocks and sand are both composed of the same elements, this is tiny little stones. Sand are stones. Rocks are stones. The only difference is the amount and size.
    20. Display of wealth. If one can afford a house of stone one is "more wealthy" than living in a shack of branches and twigs.
    21. Distance. Ice and rivers can translocate stones hunderds of miles from their place of birth.
    22. Durability. Banks are enrobed by granite to effuse durability.
    23. Earth' crust. Planet Earth's crust occupies less than 1% of Earth's volume. Do we live on solid ground? No, actually it is a thin veneer (dutch 'dun laagje vernis').
    24. Elixir of life. The 'Philosophers Stone' is for some useful for rejuvenation and achieving immortality.
    25. Eponym. Giver of names to family, song, band, place etc.
    26. Fire. Some stones can be used for making fire.
    27. Fossils. Preserved remains of extinct dinosaur species in stone.
    28. Getting stoned. Feeling high, strange, happy, dizzy or weird after taking drugs.
    29. Grave. A tumulus is a mound of earth and stones raised over a grave.
    30. Gravestone. In memory of another human being or pet.
    31. Grind food. Ostriches eat stones, to help them grind food in their second stomach.
    32. Guide. A track of stones to find the way back home.
    33. Harsh. “A word from the mouth is like a stone from a sling” (Spanish proverb).
    34. Healing. According to some stones are healing.
    35. Holiness. The Black Stone is a Muslim relic. Apart from the ritual role of the Black Stone, its black colour symbolise the progress towards God.
    36. Household. Knife, sickle, grindstone, piercer, scraper out of stone.
    37. Huge impact on human race. Rocks have had a huge impact on the cultural and technological advancement of the human race. Rocks have been used by 'homo sapiens' and other 'hominids' for more than two million years. Lithic technology marks some of the oldest and continuously used technologies.
    38. Hunting.  Spear- or arrowhead from stone.
    39. Image. If we go into the universe and look back to planet Earth it's just like a big stone.
    40. In between stones. Stone House in Guimarães, Portugal.
    41. Indifference. “To the illumined man or woman, a clod of dirt, a stone, and gold are the same” (Bhagavad Gita).
    42. Just in time. With great relief nearly missing a collision with a big rock. Realising you could have died. Peak experiences like this can change peoples lives.
    43. Keeper of secrets. Pre-historic monument Stonehenge: Secular calender? Burial place? Place of healing? Companion in rituals? Astronomical sign?
    44. King maker. Scottish monarchs were seated upon the Stone of Scone during their coronation ceremony.
    45. Marker of distance. Milestone.
    46. Marker of familylines. Edda (72): "Gravestones seldom stand by the way-side unless raised by a kinsman to a kinsman."
    47. Marker of new phase in life. Milestone.
    48. Marker of territory. Stones to delineate land ownership.
    49. Matter of definition. Stone = stone? Sometimes not. "Stone" as used in natural language is not identical to dutch definition "stone is sedimentary rock bigger than 63 mm and smaller than 200 mm."
    50. Meditation. Raking stones into a pattern - recalling waves or rippling water - by Zen priests helps them focus their concentration.
    51. Memory. War memorials. 
    52. Message out of space. Meteorite or tektite.
    53. Metaphor. "Absolute freedom of the press to discuss public questions is a foundation stone of American liberty."
    54. Mirror. Stones are like a mirror. Aren't they?
    55. Misfortune. A rock or stone on your house can crush everything you worked for.
    56. Motionless. Lying as dead as a stone.
    57. No parking. Obstacle of stone forcing to park somewhere else.
    58. Not like bread. “Love doesn't just sit there, like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new” (LeGuin).
    59. Oldest stone. In the Nuvvuagittuq Belt in Canada rocks are found dated from 3.8 to 4.28 billion years old.
    60. On the road. A little stone on the highway can cause a little hole in the window pane of your car.
    61. Pest opponent. 'Mousestones' (german 'Mäuseplatte') keep the mouses from food stocks.
    62. Pile of stones. Between plots of land stones are piled to keep the land "free" of stones.
    63. Predictor of the future. Shamans or magicians use stones and bones for predicting the future.
    64. Preservational mode. Fossilized tree resin or amber sometimes contains animals or plant matter that became caught in the resin as it was secreted.
    65. Savage. "The savage bows down to idols of wood and stone, the civilized man to idols of flesh and blood” (Shaw).
    66. Sculpture. Michelangelo made the 'Statue of David' by carving marble.
    67. Security. Stone wall of a fortress.
    68. Shaping. Wind, water, ice, sunshine and animals shape a stone. Water and other stones in a river make a stone round.
    69. Solidified lava. In 79 AD the Roman cities of Pompeij en Herculaneum in Italy were (partially) buried during a long catastrophic eruption of the volcano Mount Vesuvius. The solidified lava gives an extraordinarily detailed insight into the life of a city at the height of the Roman Empire.
    70. Source of quarrels. Judaism and Islam consider the Dome of the Rock in Jerusalem as a holy spot. For Judaism it's their holiest spot. For the Islam it's one of the holiest sites.
    71. Stability. The bible, Matthew 7:24-29 says: "built your house on rock and not on sand".
    72. Starter of dreams. Dream stones.
    73. Stele. Slab of stone erected for commemorative purposes.
    74. Stonegrilling. Preparing food on a stone slab.
    75. Stoning. Killing another human being by throwing stones at him/her until he/she dies.
    76. Subject for a dissertation. In the context of love a stone is negative e.g. "you have a heart of stone". Used as construction element metaphor a stone is positive e.g. "you are the cornerstone of our organisation". The perception on stones in various contexts. Angles: antropological, sociological, historical, language etc.
    77. Subject for a movie. Track a stone over millions of years.
    78. Subject in a song. Undercover - Baker Street. "But you know he's gonna keep moving. You know he's never gonna stop moving. He's rolling, he's the rolling stone. When you wake up it's a new morning. The sun is shining, it's a new morning. But you're going, you're going home."
    79. Subject new book. History of stones in relation to species 'homo sapiens sapiens': the wonderful world of stones as tools.
    80. Symbol of ordinariness. Nothing as ordinary, boring and stupid - according to some - than a stone.
    81. Technology outsmarts Giant. David beats the strong giant Goliath with a few stones and a slinge.
    82. Ten Commandments. The 10 moral imperatives that God gave to Moses on two stones. The moral foundation in Judaism, Christianity and Islam.
    83. Time period. The Stone-age is a broad prehistoric time period during which humans widely used stone for toolmaking.
    84. Timelessness and memorialization. Obelisks: Cleopatra's Needle.
    85. Tomb. A dolmen is single-chamber megalithic tomb, usually consisting of three or more upright stones supporting a large flat horizontal capstone.
    86. Top of the world. The highest point on Earth is made of stone. Really? Yes look under the snow on the top of mount Everest.
    87. Touchstone. Stone used to identify precious metals.
    88. Traveling companion. It's the asphalt or dirt road we take.
    89. Turner of metal into gold. For a long time the 'Philosophers Stone' was the most sought-after goal in Western alchemy.
    90. Unit of measure. 1 stone is usually a mass of about 6.35 kilograms.
    91. Unpredictable. A volcanic plug.
    92. Water ripples. Stone is a thing you throw in a river to make nice water ripples.
    93. Way of life. Behave like a "rolling stone".
    94. Wisdom. A man who wants to move a mountain starts with moving the little rocks.
    95. Wonder. How strange to realize that there a so many angles on stones.
    96. Wood turned into stone. Petrified wood is a type of fossil: it consists of fossil wood where all the organic materials have been replaced with minerals, while retaining the original structure of the wood.
    97. Word. 'Stone' is a word in a sentence refering to something in the real physical world.
    98. Workmanslook. Stonewashed jeans produce a faded and worn appearance to a newly manufactured jeans.
    99. Worship. The Dome of the rock in Jerusalem is a holy spot for Judaism and Islam
    ... The 100th name is a mystery. It's the name you can add: … - yes you can!

    Wednesday, March 17, 2010

    Am I a magician?

    Sometimes I think I can predict and influence human behavior.

    SUICIDE EYES. I shook hands with a new consultant (forget his name) 10 years ago. Small talk. Talk about his education and work experiences. Talk about his new job. I wished him luck. A few minutes later his manager  H asked me, "What do you think of our new consultant?" Me: '"Do you really want to know?" H: "Ofcourse." Me: "I think he will be allright as consultant but he want make it very long because he is planning to commit suicide". H: "You are kidding, aren't you?" Me: "I don't know. It's just what my feeling/ intuition told me when I looked in his eyes". Silence for one week. Telephone rings. H on the phone. H: "You never guess what happened?" Me: "I have no idea. Tell me!" H: "Our new consultant committed suicide just as you told." Me: "O my God. I'm so sorry. I feel so guilty now. May be if I talked to him may be I could have saved him." If's all those if's.

    DRUGS. My best friend U has a brother G. G took over the mushroom business of his father. The mushroom business is a bad investment last 15 years in the Netherlands. Why? Competion from Poland, where the price per working hour is much cheeper. (Mushroom business is an workman-intensive-business.) The father of U and G died. Years go by. One day my wife N tells me: "G is getting a divorce". Me: "Why?" N: "His wife did fall in love with another man and she went away with him." Me - split second later: "Well, everybody has the right to fuck up his/her life but the result will be that G is going into the drugsbusiness." Six months go by. Telephone rings. My mother-in-law: "Did you already hear the news?" N: "I don't know. What news?" Mother-in-law: "G has been arrested this morning for drugsbusiness." N: "Jean already predicted it 6 months ago." How did I know? Answer: I can rationalize it: G is selfish; G wanted to take revenge towards his wife; G allways spends more money than he can afford; bad friends; and a lot more. But that's rationalisation. My feeling/ intuition told me, out of the blue and in a split second: "Drugs, he no longer has a woman who can stop him!"

    Am I a magician? I don't think so. I like to observe people. I like to predict their behavior. I like to solve human puzzles. When I'm honest: most of the time my predictions are wrong. Most of the time most people are unpredicatable for me. I just can't tell what they are going to do and explain why they did what they did. Always a lot of guesses but almost no answers. To be more honest: sometimes I can't even predict my own behavior or acting.

    How about you: can you explain and predict your own acting?